#650 Unlocking Money Freedom: Heal Self-Sabotage & Thrive Authentically

What if the reason you’re stuck isn’t about strategy - but safety?

In this powerful conversation, transformational healer and subconscious reprogramming guide Emma Lyons joins Rose Davidson to explore why so many heart-led women struggle with self-sabotage, money blocks, and fear of success.

Emma explains how unprocessed trauma, inherited family patterns, and nervous system dysregulation quietly drive burnout, under-earning, and people-pleasing. She shares how healing these root causes allows women to finally receive, create, and lead from a place of truth—not survival.

If you’ve ever wondered why all your best strategies still aren’t working, this episode will help you see the missing piece: your body’s sense of safety. Learn how to reprogram subconscious beliefs, calm your nervous system, and step fully into your power.

This isn’t about hustling harder—it’s about healing deeper.

🎙 Tune in to Talking with the Experts and discover what’s really keeping success from flowing. 

🔗 CONNECT WITH EMMA

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/emma-lyons-moneyblocks/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/emma.s.lyons

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/emmaslyons/

Website: http://www.emmaslyons.com

📌 PROMOTION: https://tinyurl.com/DecodeSabotage

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Chapters

• 2:18 Emma explains that women are more affected by imposter syndrome and shame due to societal scapegoating, making it difficult to feel safe opening up to receive money and success even when following the right strategies.
• 5:14 Rose shares her personal experience of childhood trauma and how it affected her self-worth, visibility, and authenticity throughout her work years until she decided to stop playing games and show up as herself.
• 6:13 Emma identifies that 70-80% of Western families are dysfunctional, often selecting a scapegoat child who becomes the emotional landfill for collective shame and intergenerational trauma that continues into adulthood.
• 10:27 Money and success cannot flow until the nervous system feels safe, because trauma is held in the nervous system which knows things before the conscious mind and has been trained to stay contracted for survival.
• 14:08 The biggest fear is not failure but success, because people become comfortable with their current level of struggle and dysfunction, making success feel unsafe and unfamiliar to their nervous system.

Transcript

Intro | 00:00
Business insights on Talking with the Experts. Hosted by Rose Davidson. 

 Advert | 00:09
This episode of Talking with the Experts is brought to you by our future partners. Maybe that's you. If your brand aligns with authenticity, strategy, and transformation, let's collaborate. Visit talkingwiththeexperts.com/sponsor-talking-with-the-experts to learn more. Now, let's dive into today's conversation. 

 Rose | 00:31
Would you want to know about money blocks, self-sabotage and why all the best strategies in the world might not be working for you? My guest Emma Lyons is going to take us through the steps and strategies to help us with our money blocks and our self-sabotage. And Emma Lyons is a transformational healer, subconscious reprogramming guide. And a yoga teacher who helps heart-led women clear money blocks, dissolve self-sabotage, and finally feel safe receiving. After walking away from a legal career that left her drained and disconnected, Emma followed the call for her soul to find the energy healing, and she soon hit a brick wall of fear, procrastination and undercharging that led her to uncover the deeper patterns rooted in trauma, family dynamics and nervous system imbalances. Today, she blends deep energetic work with practical tools to help women reclaim their power, build safety into their lives. Their bodies and create aligned sustainable success without burnout. Her mission is to help you shift from survival to self-trust, from shame to sovereignty and from striving to receiving. Through her grounded yet intuitive approach, Emma guides clients to transform not just their businesses, but their entire way of being. Emma Lyons, welcome to Talking with the Experts. 

 Emma | 01:55
Great to be here. Thanks so much for having me, Rose. 

 Rose | 01:58
You're, it's my pleasure indeed. You're going to be helping us to unravel the hidden roots of self-sabotage and money blocks and purpose driven women like us to that are stuck in cycles of burnout and under earning and people pleasing. 

 Emma | 02:18
Yeah, and it's especially, this is something that especially affects women. Women are affected more by things like imposter syndrome because we kind of have been kind of scapegoated by society. We carry, we're more emotionally connected and we're more connected to the shame. And shame is such a heavy vibration that it's really hard. If you're carrying shame from your past, from your family, or if you were shamed and it's kind of hidden in your consciousness. And this was my story. You couldn't be doing this. All the right things, Rose. You can be following an idea that I had, like amazing coaches, went through amazing programs. And you can be doing all the steps, but still feel frustrated and wondering why things aren't connecting for you. And very often it's not about the strategy at all. It's about you have some clearing out to do so you can feel safe to open and receive. Maybe in your family when you were growing up. That was something that wasn't safe or that was punished. 
 So even things like visibility, if you've got these I mean, me when I started out being visible was terrifying, because in my family wasn't really safe to be seen. I was punished when I was authentically showing up. 
 So this is why it's so hard for lots of people, especially women, a lot of women to really show up and be authentically who they are, because all their life they've been taught, you have to pretend, you have to play this game, you have to wear the mask, you have to do what we're told, you're told, sit down and be quiet. And how many women have been taught that and the people pleasing. This is something that is very female focused, not many men do it. I'm sure there are men who do it, but so many more women. Do people pleasing than men. We just kind of let people walk all over ourselves. And it's because, you know, we've been trained from a young age that other people, how other people feel is more important than us. 
 So again, it's that internalized shame that we really need to disconnect from so that we can fully take back our power and feel safe. Opening up and receiving the flow of money and receiving that success. Because it does require like an exposure. It's not just, you know, it's not just showing up on screen. You've got to kind of open yourself up, particularly if you're selling products a service that you're making or doing yourself. 
 I mean, it is so much easier for anyone, I think, to sell something that belongs to someone else, because you don't have that emotional connection to it. But if you're selling your service, something that you made that came from you, it brings up all that self worth stuff, all that repressed shame, maybe that you're even not connected with. And that can really sabotage you, even if you have all the best coaches, all the best strategies, even if you're spending thousands and thousands of dollars on all the best structures and systems. 

 Rose | 05:14
Look, I totally 100% agree with everything that you've said. And I can relate to so much of it. 
 You know, I come from a very traumatic childhood. And, you know, a lot of the things that... I'm, Finally becoming aware of, you know, stem from childhood trauma and absolutely from and from growing up, you know, things like self-worth, things like, yes, showing up, being seen, you know, all of those things. 
 You know, I was punished for, you know, being who I was and, you know, and I was made to be somebody that I didn't want to be. And I was like that all my life. 
 I mean, even through my work years. You know, be this way, be that way, be somewhere else way. And, you know, it didn't always sit well with me. But, you know, I played the game because, you know, that's how you get on in life. Is by playing games and you finally decided that I didn't want to play that game anymore and I'm going to just show up the way I am and if people don't like it well that's on them it's not on me. 

 Emma | 06:13
Know exactly I. 
 Absolutely. And this is so true, particularly for people who were scapegoated in dysfunctional and narcissistic family systems. And this is so common. Rose, most families in the Western world are dysfunctional. They estimate that around 70 to 80% of families are dysfunctional. And what happens in those dysfunctional families is that there's so much kind of childhood legacy of trauma that's been accrued over the generations, intergenerational trauma, they select a child who becomes the scapegoat and basically, You become the landfill for all that collective shame, for all that unprocessed stuff. They can blame you overtly and, you know, tease you and blame you for things. But you emotionally. Get to take on or have to take on all of that shame, all that sludge. And that role doesn't end when you become an adult. We take it into adulthood. And you notice with me, I was the scapegoat. It sounds like you may have been the scapegoat as well. Because scapegoats internalize an awful lot of shame and carry an abnormally strong mountain of shame they have to come over that other people just don't experience. And it can be so debilitating because it's so frustrating to be doing all the right things, to be showing up, to be ticking all the boxes and still to feel like you're failing. And it's not your fault. It's because you've been in that role. You've been trained and imprinted to be that person, to be in that role and to not be yourself, to not be successful. The scapegoat, for example, your life is not supposed to be easy. It's not supposed to work. That's the whole point of having a scapegoat in the family system. 
 So it's so important that we ditch that shame, ditch that family role, do the work that's required. And this is why most of the scapegoats, they end up in therapy doing the work because it really affects them. Or me as well, you end up doing all the work and reclaiming your true authentic self. And this is how we break free. But collectively women, I work with a lot of women, and collectively women, we've been scapegoated collectively, you know, so we're carrying that level of trauma. 
 So that's why this is one of the reasons why women carry a heavier burden in that regard. And you know, women, managing money it's very new women running businesses this is very new for people for us as a collective so it's still something that we have a lot of shame about I think too much money not enough and we're still carrying all that shame women famously, we pull each other down, don't we? Because we've got, we're carrying the shame, and we can't digest it because shame is not a normal emotion that can't be digested. 
 So we either internalize it, or we internalize it. And become frozen in that, are we projected out at other people, other women? Look at her big ass, look at her. 
 You know, we shame other women in order to make us feel better. And that is, we have such a toxic, shame-filled culture that really keeps us all down. Because as I said, shame is such a low vibration. You cannot rise, even if you're doing all the best manifesting programming work, until you let go of that level, that energy first. 

 Rose | 09:48
So why is money and success, you know, it, can't flow until we've uncovered why we're trying to keep our nervous system You know? For me, my nervous system is still quite raw because I've had a very bad year this year. But... And money and success, they're vibrations as well. But how can we uncover that so that our nervous system does feel safe to be able to bring in the money and success? 

 Emma | 10:27
Well, we've been like programs from a young age that being visible, having money, you know, women for famously, we can't, a lot of women, they can't even receive a compliment, you know, give someone you've lovely hair, like your glasses, women kind of feel a lot of women feel awkward, and they feel like, these old things, you know, got them in the charity shop. Are you know they feel like they need to give a compliment back? This is appreciation and guess what money is that energy of appreciation too? 
 So we've got to get comfortable and appreciating ourselves really because otherwise we're going to shut it down when it comes from outside and this is where we undercharge and where we kind of show up and sabotage things. I've done this. I've done all these things, by the way, so I'm not pointing any fingers. But maybe you needed to be, maybe you needed to be pointed out to. But anyone ever done this, you know, you get the client or you get someone on the call, and you kind of don't show up, you find a way to sabotage it, because that fear monster is like, you can't really help that person. You'll make a fool of yourself. 
 So you sabotage it, you don't show up, or you have something happen to not have to actually help that person. And we've got to make it about them. We've got to do our healing work. We've got to do the healing work so that we can open up so that we can feel safe to be ourselves and to be authentically who we are and to be visible. And like you said, this is about the nervous system. There's a lot of talk about the mindset, working on affirmations, all that stuff. That's fantastic. But we hold this stuff, we hold this trauma in our nervous system. And the nervous system, our bodies knows things before we do. This is why it tenses up or you get the butterflies in the stomach. 
 So we've got to work with the whole nervous system. So the nervous system feels safe. Being seen, being open, because we've been taught to shut ourselves down for 20, 30, 40, 50 years, you know, so. Opening up, it doesn't feel safe. Your nervous system has taught I have to be contracted in order to stay alive. 
 So we're living in a kind of survival mode. And in order to get out of that, we've got to train, we've got to retrain the body, retrain the whole system of body that it's safe to open, that nothing bad will happen, you won't be attacked, you won't be rejected. 
 Well, or that you might be rejected, but that you're fine that you accept yourself, give yourself that affirmation, that, Even if some people don't like you like yourself. And that's enough. That's the real trick. It's got to come from the inside rather than looking for validation from the outside. And this is where lots of women fall down because we've been trained to seek validation from outside even more so than men. We've been like, we have to please this person. We have to make them happy so that I can feel okay. But that feeling of okayness and loving ourselves, I hate to sound like a record, like a cliche, but this is it. We've got to have that validation coming from the inside in order that we can receive money, which is, as I said, it's the same energy of love and appreciation. 
 So we've got to feel that from the inside, and then we can open up and receive it from the outside world, the body, the nervous system, everything will know that it's safe and be aligned with that frequency. Yeah. 

 Rose | 13:49
Yeah, that is so true. Emma, I want to move on to fear. We all have fears of something. But why is the biggest fear not the fear of failure, but the fear of what will happen to us if we are successful? 

 Emma | 14:08
And this is a really good question because people think they're afraid of failing. But actually... Most people think they're already failing, you know, and that's kind of become our comfort zone. I'm going to say that, because I know what that feels like, you kind of get, it becomes your routine failing or not getting what you want. 
 So your system is kind of used to that this is this kind, it's your comfort zone. And, you know, we can get comfortable in dysfunction as well, we become that becomes kind of our emotional home. 
 So we get comfortable with that level of struggle. So Being successful feels like weird. It doesn't feel right. It's like, you know, those people who, it's the same with the same pattern you see in relationships, you know, people who keep going out with the same dysfunctional guy again and again, or keep marrying the same dysfunctional, crazy guy again and again with a different face. It's the same pattern when it comes to business, because we've got to shift the pattern from the inside out. It's not about, finding a new partner or, you know, getting a new client or something. It's about work, doing that inner work so that we can actually, you know, We can find clients with ease because we'll be on a different frequency and we'll actually see different doors opening that weren't visible to us before. New opportunities and we'll be able to step through them without shying back, without shrinking our hiding way. 
 So success can mean things like, And this is something that people can do at home. Ask yourself, and this is a really strange question you might think to ask yourself, but ask yourself this, what's the worst thing that could happen if you were to succeed? 
 So if you were to make that money, for example, maybe you have a money goal, what's the worst thing that would happen? With that, I know it sounds funny. Push. You bet you very often or your nervous system might be like wow if I start making that much money if I have I'll have Too many clients. I want of time for my kids. I want of time to do the things that I want to do I want of time to you know Do to go could be anything to look after my family to make the dinner to connect with my husband so we can be carrying those kind of conflicts and Because it's like our energy, we're being pulled in two different directions. We want to be successful, we want to make the money. 
 And then there are all these things saying my God, if I make that money, I'll be attacked. I won't have time for my family. I won't have any time to relax. I'll have too much to do. 
 You know, so it's safer and the body, the nervous system, it prefers to stay where we are if something else feels dangerous. So this is why people struggle to move on to the next level, because we kind of hit a ceiling. It's a, and it's, we can have money ceiling as well. 
 You know, this is why women It's the exact same thing. People get stuck at 10k or 20k or 5k or 2k, whatever it is, the amount of money is irrelevant. Because again, this becomes our comfort zone. And getting beyond it, the nervous system, the whole system is like my god, if I go there, I'll be attacked, people will reject me, something bad will happen, I'll have no time for my family, I'll have to abandon myself in order to do that. And it might not be exactly logical. But if you find that you can start working on changing that yourself, because it is those kind of limiting beliefs around success, that that's what's really stopping people and holding people back. It's not the fear of failure, usually, it's the fear of the unknown rather than the known. 

 Rose | 17:49
Yeah, that's a really good point. I mean, you don't often hear people saying that they're afraid of success. They usually say that they have this fear of failure, but yeah, I'm But you're right in the point that We are afraid of success in the fact that we don't know what's going to happen if we do become successful. And, you know, we can afford the things that we want. We dream of them and we talk about them. But we don't do things to get to that level quite often because we're afraid of what will happen. You're right. We're afraid of what will happen. 

 Emma | 18:28
Yeah. Ask yourself, what's the worst thing that would happen? And it seems like a crazy question. But ask yourself and see what comes up, whatever crazy thing comes up. Write that down and take it seriously because it's not coming from nowhere. It's the fear of the unknown is a really famously and the fear of losing control. 
 So the reality that you have now you're in control of things, you know, what's going to happen from day to day, maybe you know that you're going to be struggling, this is familiar to you. This is familiar. This is what feels like home. 
 You know, it feels like it's stability. It feels like the normal. 
 So if we go to the next level, it's the unknown. Someone could attack us. We could be hurt. We could have no time for ourselves. And that's enough to keep you where you are. 
 So we've got to change that. Excuse me, we've got to change those beliefs, so that we can open up and allow ourselves to get the next level. And this is this an emotional journey. It's not about having better strategies or systems because, as I said before, no matter how great your strategy or system is, if you are not able to show up for it. Or show up for your clients or show up for yourself. You're not going to get the results, not because the system or strategy isn't good, but because your system isn't really, isn't keyed into that level of success. Not because you don't deserve it, not because you can't have it, but just because you need to open a little bit more. That's really it. It's about opening up so that you can receive more. We're kind of, we're letting in, this is how much money is safe for me to let in. And you want to get to the next level. That means opening a little bit more. And that's scary because someone could attack me. 
 Someone could hurt me. And you have lots of evidence from your childhood, from times that when you opened, you were attacked, maybe. 
 So this is when I work people, we go back to those childhood imprints and kind of release and change those emotions around those fears around that. 

 Rose | 20:26
Yeah, a lot of us, you're right, a lot of us have been imprinted with those very fears and we live with them for all of our life. And it just really takes someone to come in and help us to realise that that's what has been stopping us from being the success that we want to be. Now, Emma can be found on LinkedIn, Facebook, Instagram and on her website, emmaslions.com. And she wants to share with her. With us her decode sabotage. 

 Emma | 20:58
Yes, I do have a free gift for you guys. It is about breaking the loop. 
 So breaking the loop. If you feel like you're in a loop in terms of your money and sabotage, maybe you're looping back through to emotions or so, this gift will really help you break the loop for that. And I'll put the – I don't know the link off the top of my head, but I will have that posted down in the show notes down below. 

 Rose | 21:27
It certainly will be. It's tinyurl.com forward Slack decode sabotage. And, yeah, so everything, all of Emma's details will be in the show notes when the episode is released. In a few days. - Yeah. I'd love you to share some other insights with our audience, if you wouldn't mind, please. 

 Emma | 21:49
Yeah, absolutely. I mean, what I've noticed is that really the thing stopping women, a lot of women, is this shame voice. And I mean, I was really struggling for a long number of years with shame and really pushing, doing all the healing. But it was really only surface level until I started really getting connecting to this family system thing, realizing that I was carrying such a big load of shame and started to release that. 
 So that's what I specialize now, women who are carrying more than their fair share of that. Of shame often from being the scapegoat in the family system. 
 So they can finally allow themselves to thrive and really break free of this kind of It's an inner critic, but I've identified that for lots of people, it's kind of like a narcissist voice that controls and dominates people and keeps them down. So we can say no to that. We can take our power back from it. And we don't have to hold ourselves back from success anymore. You deserve to be successful and you can do it if you just open yourself up to receiving the support that's going to get you to the next level. 

 Rose | 23:07
Emma, thank you for sharing that. And it has been an absolute pleasure meeting you and, chatting with you about, you know, our money blocks and why we have such fears around, you know, being successful. 

 Emma | 23:20
Perfect. Thank you so much, Rose. 

 Outro | 23:22
You You've been listening to Talking with the Experts with Rose Davidson. The podcast that brings you real stories, bold insights and strategies that work. Be sure to subscribe on YouTube or your favorite podcast channel so you never miss an episode and dive into our full library anytime at TalkingWithTheExperts.com. Until next time, keep learning, keep growing and keep talking with the experts.