#596 Business Skills That Transform Your Dating Life with Dana Nygaard

Are you a successful businesswoman struggling to find the same success in love? In this empowering episode of Talking with the Experts, host Rose Davidson sits down with Dana Nygaard, licensed psychotherapist and relationship coach, to explore how women can apply business strategies to transform their dating lives.

Dana dives deep into how key professional skills—like negotiation, boundary-setting, and clear communication—can also help women thrive in romantic relationships. If you’ve mastered the boardroom but find dating confusing or frustrating, this episode is your bridge to emotional empowerment and romantic fulfillment.

Learn how to confidently express your relationship needs, recognize unhealthy dynamics, and cultivate a partnership that aligns with your values. Dana shares the same powerful tools that helped her find lasting love—and they’ll work for you, too.

This isn’t about changing who you are. It’s about bringing your full, powerful self to the world of dating—and finally choosing a partner who truly sees and values you. 

💡 Three Key Points from the Interview:

1.     How to apply negotiation and boundary-setting from business into romantic relationships. 

2.     Signs of unhealthy dynamics and how to confidently walk away. 

3.     How to date with intention and align your love life with your personal values.

✨ CONNECT WITH DANA

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/dananygaardlpc

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/dana-nygaard-02b1bb8/

Website: https://www.dananygaard.com/

Website: https://www.christiancomfortcounseling.com/

 📍PROMOTION: https://clarityplease.com/

#TalkingwiththeExperts #RoseDavidson #DatingWithConfidence #BusinessSkillsInLove #DanaNygaard #RelationshipCoach #EmpoweredDating #IntentionalLove

▼ ▼

🛠 RECOMMENDED BUSINESS & PODCAST TOOLS

○ PodMatch ○ TubeBuddy

👩‍💻 COURSES AND SOCIALS

○ Bio Link ○ Support Talking with the Experts ○ Leave a Google Review

👉 Rose Davidson is a podcast host, producer and coach who helps entrepreneurs, coaches, and business owners navigate the process of starting their own shows through her signature OPAL system—Organise, Produce, Arrange, and Launch.

DISCLOSURES: This description contains affiliate links which means I may earn a small commission if you make a purchase through them—at no extra cost to you. I only recommend products I trust and believe will add value. Thank you for your support!

Transcript

Voiceover | 00:00
Welcome to Talking with the Experts. This is where we discuss great ideas to take your business to the next level. How do we know these ideas work? Well it's because we're talking with business owners who are using these ideas. Business owners who have years of experience and expertise. All things business, by business owners, for business owners. And now, here is your host, Rose Davidson. 

 Rose | 00:31
Welcome to Talking with the Experts. I'm your host, Rose Davidson from rosedavidson.com.au. My guest today is Dana Nygaard and Dana's going to be sharing with us negotiating the terms of love and how business skills can transform your dating life. Now Dana is..... Renowned psychotherapist. She's a relationship coach. She's an author, a national speaker who teaches single Catholic women how to date intentionally, stop settling and start choosing wisely. She gives them the confidence and tools to know when a man is worth it and when to walk away. Dana is here today to share a glimpse of the strategies she used to heal from her past and find her husband. 
 So you can begin transforming your love life today. Dana, thank you so much for joining me here today. The topic isn't one that I normally deal with on talking with the experts. However, I am interested to discuss have a conversation with you about it. 

 Dana | 01:37
It's my pleasure, Rose. Thanks for having me. 

 Rose | 01:40
Tell me a little bit about your background, Dana. 

 Dana | 01:43
Yes, so I taught secondary education. So in the U.S., that's 6th through 12th grade. I did that for 16 years. 
 And then I felt that God was leading me to do something different with my life. And I went back to grad school and became a licensed professional counsellor. 
 And then in the last couple of years, I really felt pulled to do relationship coaching because my license is only in Texas. And that way I can reach people more. Across the U.S. And actually globally. And I want to work with women. 
 That's why I work with mostly in my private practice, I see both men and women. But with the relationship coaching, it's women, because to me, they're the ones that are getting misused, mistreated. They're waiting on the sidelines for a really strong man to show up. And I'm trying to help them to figure out how do you go from feeling insecure to secure? 

 Rose | 02:37
Yeah, that's really important too because, you know, as women, you know, we often get overlooked and we, you know, don't often feel safe. Heard or seen and, you know, having that confidence to project yourself in a positive way, it can only be of benefit to, you know, how we project ourselves in our businesses. 

 Dana | 02:59
Exactly. Because if you are a healthy businesswoman, that doesn't necessarily mean it translates into your personal life. And so I want to help bridge that gap because most of the women who work out or reach out to me for relationship coaching, they are typically successful in their career. It's their love life where things are missing. 

 Rose | 03:20
Yeah, I get that. And, you know, quite often, you know, we always, we put ourselves on the back burner. And, you know, we always, not always, we often put our careers before our personal relationships. And, yeah, and as you say, personal relationships can suffer because we just don't have that confidence. 
 So tell me, how can we, you know, clarify our intentions early, like we would in business? 

 Dana | 03:47
I think it's important to know what you want. So if you're wanting to date and just have fun, then you need to know that if you're serious about being married someday and you want a really healthy guy, if you want a guy of the same religious background, this, you know, wants kids, doesn't want kids, whatever it is, you have to know what you want. And there have to be your non-negotiables. And I don't mean on the first day you show up and you go, number one, you better never do this. Right. OK, we don't want to do that. And you don't want to let the men know necessarily what all the non-negotiables are. Are up front because you don't want them playing to you in that way. You don't want them thinking, for her, that's a concern. I'm going to make sure I go the opposite direction to fake her out. 
 So I think that's really important. And then it helps if they write those goals down to know what you want, because if you want to, let's say, laugh, he doesn't have to be a comedian, but I want to laugh with this man. If you've been dating him for six months and you realize. We never laugh. Then he's the wrong guy for you. And what girlfriends will often say is, but he's so handy. He can fix anything or he has money. He has a sports car. After a while, you're not going to care about that. Who cares about the sports car, and you can hire someone to be a handyman if you need to. 
 So it's important to know what are your top five qualities that you're looking for in a man. Another thing would be ask direct, simple questions early. 
 So within the first few dates, I would ask, what are you looking for in a relationship? I would ask, do you see yourself getting married? Because if you want to get married and the man's like, no, that's not my thing. Then why are you wasting time with him? If you want to get married, just like if you say, hey, do you want to invest in my business? They're like, I don't think I'm going to invest this year. Why are you dealing with these people? Right. We're all busy. Let's get down to brass tacks. Another thing is. I think it's really important to observe their actions, not just their words. Because these things can apply to men. It's just I feel led to work with women. 
 So no, it can go both directions. But what I've experienced is so many women will tell me, well, he says these nice things, but his behaviour doesn't match up. And if the behaviour doesn't match up and they're talking the talk but not walking the walk, then that's not going to be a good person for you most likely to marry. 
 And then the final aspect I like to teach women about clarifying those intentions early is you need to be able to walk away if needed. So let's look at being physically intimate with someone. 
 So let's put aside for the moment religious issues about that, okay? If you sleep with the man up front, It's very hard to get disentangled from that person. Right. 
 That's why I think it's so wise to, you know, of course, within religious life to not do those things, but to don't give yourself to a man who's getting husband privileges when he hasn't put a ring on your finger. I think that's really important. And it's so hard for women often to break away from a man because After they've slept with them, even though their brain is screaming, get away from this guy. 
 So it's really important to know what you want and then to follow through with that. 

 Rose | 07:17
Yeah, that is an important point about, you know, sleeping on the first date and, you know, I mean, We have often done it as, you know, when we're in the dating scene and we think, you know, that's the way that, you know, they're going to love us more or like us more or, you know, get into a relationship more. And that certainly isn't the way. 
 I mean... From my own experience, it's usually that's what, thereafter is just, you know, a bit of a role in the hay. 
 And then, you know, the relationship doesn't form after that. So, you know, we need to be really careful that we are guarding our feelings and that we don't let... You know, sex, I guess, get in the way of, you know, a good relationship and the formation of a relationship. 

 Dana | 08:07
Exactly. It confuses things. 
 And then for women, the hormones that are released bond her to that man. And so he may in the end be just a terrible guy. But she feels this affinity for him, but it's hormonal. It's not even rational. And we want to go from these feelings to being rational about things. 

 Rose | 08:30
Absolutely. So how do we go about, Dana, creating this win-win situation in a relationship where both parties feel valued? 

 Dana | 08:41
Well, I think it's so important to identify, like, what are your priorities? What are my priorities? You have to have honest discussions. And again, going back to being intimate too soon, it's interesting to me how people will come physical, but then if you say, have you talked about? Where you want to live someday. No, I couldn't do that. That'd be awkward. 
 Like you just did the most intimate act on earth. But now you're not sure about talking about faith, family, career. 
 Like, do they want a stay-at-home wife? Or do they say, No, my wife better work. 
 Well, what if you don't want to work? Or what if you do want to be a stay-at-home wife? 
 So I think it's really important you know each other's priorities and have those honest discussions and make sure they align. So if someone says, hey, I want to live in this other country, and you're thinking, that sounds like the worst idea on earth, well, maybe you're not going to be right for each other. Another thing I think is important to create win-win situations is to use I statements to be really clear to have that clarity. 
 So instead of saying, you know, which sounds very accusatory, it's like the finger, you know, points at that person, like, you never make time for me, versus I feel valued when we have intentional time together. When you say to me, I'd love to spend some time with you this weekend. I'd love to take you here. 
 So I think it's really important. Another one would be to seek alignment, not just compromise. Because sometimes in compromise, you're each going to lose a lot. But instead... Don't. Do not give up your values, but how can you find a solution that honors both of your needs so that you each get what you want? And it's not always, well, I just give in to him because it keeps things easy. No, anytime you have to shut down who you are and it never goes your direction, that will become very tiresome. And a loving marriage is them wanting good for you and you wanting good for them. 
 So it needs to be able to go both ways. And then the last aspect that I work with my clients on these win-win situations is marriage. You have to revisit and reassess regularly. And I don't mean every day you have to sit down and say, okay, how's our relationship going? But on a weekly basis, monthly basis How are things going with us? Are we progressing in a healthy way? Are we stuck? To make sure that you're both winning. Because if your sweetheart says to you, Honey, I just cave all the time because you get so upset and I think, okay, I'll give in. That's not going to be a happy marriage someday. 

 Rose | 11:23
Yeah, absolutely. And I think, you know, setting those clear boundaries is really important. And, you know, and to, you know, check in from time to see how Each other is feeling about the relationship and whether one person is, you know, being too heavy handed or demanding too much. And the other one is always, as you say, caving in and not... And you know, being their authentic self and maybe not being allowed to be their authentic self and, you know, being overshadowed by the other partner. 

 Dana | 11:58
Exactly. And that's going to build up resentment.
 So even though one of them may give in after a while, that's going to pile up and then it's going to get really ugly. And that's why I think so often when a woman says, hey, I'm concerned about something and the husband's like, we're fine.
 And then she shuts down. And then at some point she leaves. Men will say all the time It came out of nowhere.
 So, well, it really didn't, but that's part of why you need to talk and reassess because you need your needs met, but you want to make sure are you meeting your partner's needs. So recently for my husband's birthday, we went and we did some antiquing, which we both love. We went to a World War II museum that he loves with planes and those things. Then we went to an old vintage railroad museum. Those are not my normal things I do. If I go to a museum, I want it to just be about planes. I want it to be more expansive than that. But what makes me happy is I'm making him happy. Happy. And it's not like we do it 24-7, right?
 So there's a way to give and receive where things aren't necessarily balanced all the time, but there's just beautiful give and take.
 Rose | 13:16
Absolutely. And, you know, in any relationship, whether it's, you know, a romantic relationship or a business relationship, there's always got to be that give and take. 
 You know, you can't always just... Be giving and not receiving anything back and you know, a lot of workplaces are like that. A lot of relationships are like that where, you know, You know, you shut yourself down because you can't see a way that you're going to receive the things that you need. And if you don't ask, you won't get them. 

 Dana | 13:52
Exactly. That's why you sometimes have to, you know, put that hand up and say, I have a need. And if the person while you're dating, and let me just speak for the woman here, if while the man is supposed to be pursuing you, he's not doing those things and he's what we call unresponsive. I don't mean he, you know, closes his mouth and says nothing. But when you say, hey, I have a need, I would really love this. And he either goes, yeah. But doesn't do it or says, well, that's stupid. You're being ridiculous. Get over yourself. Or goes- but then just never follows through. That will be miserable to be married to someone like that. For them to say, okay, what can we do to make that happen for you? I know when I came home as a teacher and said to my husband, I want to go to grad school. And I want to become a therapist. It's going to be a five-year process before I'm fully licensed. He said, what do we have to do to make it happen?
 So that's the kind of guy that you want to marry. And that's the kind of, you know, thing that men want in their relationships, too, I would hope.
 Rose | 14:57
Absolutely, yes, I've been married now for nearly 35 years and I don't think one of my needs has been met once. And You know, I only realized that last year, but unfortunately, he's unwell. And so I can't really just leave him and end the relationship because he has nowhere to go at the moment. 

 Dana | 15:21
That's hard. That's did. Did you notice that? Before you got married or did it start? Because some people will say, no, it's like the ring went on the finger and things flipped. Or did you see things beforehand? 

 Rose | 15:35
I think I probably noticed them beforehand, but I swallowed my needs and my wants and just, you know, keep the peace and, you know, things will get better. And, you know, they didn't. And, you know, now, you know, I have all sorts of issues with. With relationships and you know that It's a hard road to travel when you don't Trust in yourself and trust in the things that you need and, you know, let someone know Push them down. 

 Dana | 16:09
Exactly. And that's why I think it's so important that the foundation of what I do with women is I help them to go from an insecure to secure attachment style. Because if we were used to as children, you know, your feelings don't matter. You're being ridiculous. Be quiet. Why can't you act like your sister or your brother? You're too much. You're not enough. We then go around in the world and attract people to us. And I don't mean law of attraction, but we connect with people that feel familiar. 
 Like the back of our brains going, I know how to do this all day long. Right. And so my husband will jokingly say, well, You tell me that old Dana, like former Dana, the way I used to be before we met, that these things happen to you. And he's met many of the players in my life. And he says, I get that they're true. And I've met these people and I can see that that's what happened. But the woman I know today would never put up with it. And, you know, it's not. Charitable if you think about it, because I was that way in the past. I pushed myself down. As long as he's happy, I'm okay before I met my husband. And what's interesting is... It's really not charitable to them, if you think about it, because how are they growing as human beings? And if you are faith-based, how are they doing that holy work they need to do if they get away with inappropriate behaviour? 
 So when we stand up for ourselves, we're actually helping them 

 Rose | 17:40
Yeah, I agree with that. I agree with that at all. Entirely. I think, you know, we have to be true to ourselves and, to be true to ourselves, we have to be true to the relationship and make sure that, you know, we are voicing our opinions and our, I mean, I don't mean voicing opinions in a negative way, but as in, you know, letting people know what you need, what you want. And how you should be treated, you know, you shouldn't, allow bad behaviour to dictate your life. 

 Dana | 18:15
Exactly. And what I've seen is I call this the good guy fallacy. And women will come to me and they'll say, okay, I'm dating, let's say John Doe. And he brings me flowers, he opens car doors. Awesome. 
 And then they'll say, and the other day, and they'll tell me some terrible thing he did. He screamed at me. He called me a vulgar name. Okay, well. That would be considered emotionally abusive, verbally abusive, whatever it is. And they'll say, No. I misspoke. I feel terrible. I mischaracterized him. He's a really good guy. Okay, but good guys don't do those things. There are men out there who will treat you so beautifully, and they will never go to that place. 
 So I think sometimes we get in our head, okay, they're doing certain things we've always dreamed of. So check, they're in the good guy box. But you have to be aware, just like you can hire someone to work for your business. And they may be great for a while, but after a little while, you're like, wait, money's missing. The store is being opened late. My accountant is concerned. You may have to look at that again, and we want to do that before we marry them. 

 Rose | 19:26
Absolutely. Dana, I want to get... And chat with you a little bit about how we can walk away from these bad deals. 

 Dana | 19:34
So you have to be able to recognize red flags and like what's a deal breaker. So if you want children and let's say he's a lovely guy and he says. 
 Yeah, kids aren't in the car three. I'm just not interested in children. Then that's a deal breaker for you, right? For me being a Catholic woman, I was going to marry a Catholic man. If he had said you have to be something else or you can't be, that would be a deal breaker. Then you need to be able to recognize red flags. 
 So let's say that you had Italian for lunch. You're supposed to meet for the first date and have Italian food. And you call them, hey, I know we were going to eat Italian at some little corner restaurant. I just had it for lunch. It was a work thing. And so could we go someplace else? It's a red flag if the guy flips out on you. Because he should want to see you if it's a hot dog stand. He should want to see you. 
 So that's a great way to see up front, is it a controlling person? And so you have to know what the red flags are. And that's part of what I teach. This is healthy and unhealthy. And one of my favorite things is when the women in our online community will tell me about a first date. He said this, then this happened, then I did this. And I break down every moment of their date from a psychological perspective and as a relationship coach. And it's so enlightening to go, that's what that meant. That's what that meant. Either good. Or not so good. 
 So that's another one. And then... We want to get away from this sunk cost fallacy, which is... When like, well, I've invested all this time. I've dated Tommy for three months now. Okay, I went to his cousin's wedding. Okay, that doesn't mean you have to stay with that person. 
 So if it's not a good deal for you need to get away. You may have in your mind, hey, I want a new vehicle. And you think you want a certain vehicle but after the test drive you go wow, this car is really not very comfortable. It actually hurts my legs and my hips sitting so low to the ground. Then don't buy the car. Because how are you going to feel later if you buy the car and you're like, well, I was at the dealership all day. Right. 
 So you have to get rid of that sunk cost fallacy. And then you need to have a an exit strategy that's very clear. 
 So if it's this, yeah, I'm busy. And he keeps calling. 
 Yeah, I'm still busy. Just be clear of I respect you. I just don't think this is the right relationship. For me. 
 Right? And then you need a support system, but this is so important. This is key. It has to be a support system that has what you want. If it's a bunch of your friends who have never had a healthy relationship, they're going to give you bad advice. 
 So if I want to make a business decision, what I'm going to go to my let's pretend brother-in-law who has $37 in his pocket. And ask him if I should invest in this business. No, I'm going to go to people that have made sound business decisions and see what they say. And it's the same in relationships. 
 So don't go to your bitter, angry... Passive-aggressive girlfriend and ask her opinion, she will not give you good advice. 

 Rose | 22:59
No, absolutely. And, you know, discovering those red flags is really important, but sometimes, you know, they, they're hidden and, you know, you don't see them until, you know, maybe years later, things that there were always red flags and you didn't notice them or they were just sort of. You glossed over them or you made excuses for that behaviour. 
 So, you know, it's really important from the onset to watch those red flags like, They have interest in a sporting activity or a sporting club, but they don't spend much time with you and you want to do something, but the sporting club or sporting activity comes before what you need. That is a red flag. That means that you are the priority in their life. 

 Dana | 23:52
Exactly. You're so on point. And I think it's important to notice that. How do I feel if my body, if my stomach is shaking? Why does my stomach shake after spending time with this person? Or I didn't understand something, so I asked for clarification. He threw all these words around. He said a lot. He left the room and I'm thinking, Wait, what? What just happened? If things don't make sense to you, you're probably being lied to or manipulated, you know. If a guy says, yeah, I'm interested, I'll call you, and he doesn't call, He's not interested. When women will say things like, well, he's just shy. Girl, shy men get married too. He's just not interested. 
 So it's so interesting to me that more women watch true crime and listen to true crime. Than men. And when I first heard that, I thought, well, that's weird because there's so much, you know, violence and gore. Women do that because they're trying to learn how to protect themselves. 
 So you really need to do a deep dive on what are red flags. And you just need to be able to have time to say, okay, this thing happened. I'm just going to sit with it. 
 And then take 24, 48 hours and think like, let me think about that more. Holy heck. Versus just agreed to stuff. Why agree right away? 
 You know, because they say that in negotiation, right, for business, the first one who speaks loses. So you don't have to jump on board with yes to everything. If they ask you for a second date, but the back of your brain is going, I don't know. 
 Something feels off. But I'm going to be polite and smile. And I don't want to seem rude. 
 So I'm going to say yes. All right, reach out to me and let's see. Be coy if you need to. 
 And then again, go to someone and ask. And a lot of times, if you have a healthy man in your life, grandpa, uncle, neighbor, brother-in-law, and tell them what the behavior was from the man, men can point out in two seconds if he's a jerk or not. And where women will be like, he was just probably in a mood that day. He's so sweet. And a guy will be like, no, he's a total jerk. Get away from him. 
 So find those men in your life. We need those men. 

 Rose | 26:12
Absolutely. I couldn't agree more. Now, Dana, you can be found on Facebook and on LinkedIn. And your website is dananygaard.com. And the Christian Comfort Counselling is your business. I'm taking it. And you have a promotion, clarityplease.com. 

 Dana | 26:32
Yes, if you go to clarityplease.com, I have a quiz that you can take, and it's going to let you know... Do you have this problem with an insecure attachment or not? Because if you don't heal an insecure attachment, you will always be unhappy in relationships. And I'm the living, walking proof of it. I had a terrible history with men. 
 And then I dug in for 90 days and thought, I'm just going to live, eat, and breathe this because I keep attracting people. Men that are not good for me. And when I went through that healing process, now I'm happily married for over 15 years. We've been together 17 years. Thank you. He is so delightful. And all of my girlfriends who have good husbands and love their husbands, they still all go, but your marriage. 
 So if I can come from where I came from and become this person that has a great marriage, anyone can do it. It just takes effort. 

 Rose | 27:28
Absolutely. Dinah... If you would like to share something else with our audience today, I would love to hear it. 

 Dana | 27:38
Let me think. What's one of my biggies is watch out for the we worked through it syndrome. 
 So. I'll have a woman tell me, and again, it can happen to guys too, of X and such happen. Let's say you're absolutely against porn. The man has said, hey, I use porn, you know, five years ago, I've been sober for five years. I'm good. Okay, then you find out, that's a lie. He uses it all the time. It's really gross. It's really creepy. He's into weird stuff. Okay, whatever. It could be anything. It could be they've lied about anything. And... What these women will say to me is, well, we worked through it. And I'm thinking, what? No, okay. You caught him doing this thing. You called him out. What happened? We worked through it. Okay, nope, and I have to make them back up again. You said, I know what you've been doing. He said, you caught me. Then what happened? We just went out and got a pizza. That's not working through it. Working through it is you want to have a lake house. I want to have a beach house. And we negotiate that we rent a lake house twice a year and we buy a beach house. That's working through it. Right but don't allow someone to mistreat you lie to you And then go get a pizza because we worked through it. 

 Rose | 29:04
No, that's not working through it. That's for sure. You've got to have that meaningful discussion about the thing and, you know, work out where your priorities lie. 

 Dana | 29:14
Exactly. 

 Rose | 29:16
Dana, it's been an absolute pleasure. Thank you so much for sharing with us today. I really enjoyed our conversation. 

 Dana | 29:22
Thank you, Rose. It's been a blast. 

 Rose | 29:25
Bye. 

 Voiceover | 29:26
You've been listening to Talking With The Experts, hosted by Rose Davidson. Make sure you have a look at our back catalogue over at talkingwiththeexperts.com. And be sure to subscribe to our podcast so you don't miss out on any episode. We look forward to your company next time.